How Not To Be Great (Matthew 20:20-34)
How can we become the greatest in the kingdom? This is the topic of Matthew 16-20. Jesus teaches his disciples how to be great, and his answer is not what we would think. He told them to be small like children, help their brethren when they sin, forgive them, be faithful to their spouse, keep the commands, trust God to make up for what they lack, and consider yourself to be the last worker instead of the first. Throughout this section, he has repeated a message for the disciples to take in.
Matthew 20:17--19 (ESV) --- 17 And as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside, and on the way he said to them, 18 “See, we are going up to Jerusalem. And the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death 19 and deliver him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.”
He wants his disciples to know that he will die but notice how he will die. We have heard that he will die and be raised three times now, but this time, he tells them the chief priests, scribes, and the Gentiles will all work together to humiliate and crucify him. These are the leaders of Israel and the leaders of the Gentiles. This is what the greatest on earth are doing. They are conspiring to kill the Messiah.
The Story
While he is on his way to Jerusalem, James and John's mother, Salome, approaches Jesus to ask him a question.
A Strange Request
Matthew 20:20--21 (ESV) --- 20 Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. 21 And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.”
Look at the way she asks. She is like a child wanting permission to do something the parent would never agree to without describing it. She kneels before him in worship and says, "Give us what we want." This is a manipulative play on the pride and arrogance of Jesus, but there is a problem. They think that Jesus is like any other ruler. They think he is like Herod, who wrote a blank check to the daughter of Herodias and had to cut off the head of John the Baptist. Herod was arrogant and wanted to demonstrate his power and authority. But he was also foolish. Jesus doesn't fall for this. He asks her to tell him what she wants, even though he could read her mind.
She requests that James and John be given the highest positions in the kingdom. To sit at the king's right and left hand is to have the most excellent positions in all the kingdom. This is a bold and brave request. How will Jesus respond to them?
Matthew 20:22--23 (ESV) --- 22 Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” 23 He said to them, “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”
Notice that Jesus does not commend them for their boldness or their ambition. He says they don't know what they are asking for. That doesn't mean that they don't understand the glory of sitting at Jesus' right and left hand. We can see how they have faith that Jesus will rise from the dead. They don't ask, "Will you tell the ten that we are the greatest, so we don't have to fight for it after you are gone?" They recognize that Jesus is going to end up on a throne after death. That's faith. But Jesus doesn't commend them for it. Why not? He says they don't understand how to be great.
His question for them is, "Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?" This refers to the cup of suffering at the hands of the rulers on earth. Isn't it odd that they would say, "We are able." They are saying that they can suffer mocking, flogging, and crucifixion. That's pretty bold. These guys are known for being a little bit extreme. They are called "Sons of Thunder" for asking Jesus to bring down hellfire and brimstone on a city. They are intense. But really, they are presuming that they can handle what Jesus is about to go through when they have never experienced anything like it before.
Interestingly, they wanted Jesus to be presumptive by asking him to grant something without knowing what it is. Now they agree to something without knowing what it is. There is a contrast here that shows us their pride and arrogance.
Jesus responds to them and tells them that they will drink Jesus' cup, but he cannot guarantee that they will sit at his right and left hand because that is up to the Father. That's odd also. A typical king wouldn't act like there is a limit to his authority, but Jesus submits to the Father. He does not elevate his opinion or act like he is allowed to make every decision.
Isn't presumption easy for us to do? So many times, I have heard myself say, "It can't be that way" or "God wouldn't want it to be like that." Did he say that? In Jesus, we see a total submission to God's authority. He has prepared a place for Jesus, and he submits to doing things in God's way. Whatever God wants is best. John and James have signed up for something bigger than they understand because they were arrogant and proud. They are not submitting to whatever God wants as the best thing.
Final Teaching
The disciples become angry or indignant when they hear about what James and John did---bringing their mother in and trying to rise to the top though a humble request was innovative. They must have heard this conversation, and they wish that they would have thought to do it first. Plus, Jesus didn't give them a definite "No" answer. Jesus hears them grumbling and responds.
Matthew 20:24--28 (ESV) --- 24 And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers. 25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
At this point, Jesus stops beating around the bush and clearly explains the path to greatness. It's not a path of manipulation, selfishness, and ego. It is a path of suffering and service. Jesus points out that the rulers "lord it over them." This is the way of the world, but the disciples must not be like that. They must let go of the world's oppressive behavior and embrace a life of selfless service with love. The greatest is the servant or the slave, not the governor or the general. That's not how this kingdom is constructed. It is a reverse pyramid with the greatest on the bottom, not the top. Leadership is about serving, not being served.
Jesus exemplifies that by becoming a ransom for many. His willingness to die for everyone else is not self-serving. The truth is that he was in heaven with God before becoming a baby and enduring life on earth. Jesus is not in this for himself. He has already experienced the highest level of greatness, but he makes himself low so that God can exalt him even higher (if that's possible) and so that men will exalt him as they should.
Jesus Exemplifies The Life
After this, Matthew shows us an example that contrasts Jesus and the familiar leadership styles of the day.
Matthew 20:29--34 (ESV) --- 29 And as they went out of Jericho, a great crowd followed him. 30 And behold, there were two blind men sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was passing by, they cried out, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” 31 The crowd rebuked them, telling them to be silent, but they cried out all the more, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” 32 And stopping, Jesus called them and said, “What do you want me to do for you?” 33 They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” 34 And Jesus in pity touched their eyes, and immediately they recovered their sight and followed him.
Notice that the men are crying out for mercy, but the crowds try to rebuke him. They think Jesus is too important to pay attention to you. You are not worthy to receive mercy. Get out of here and stop bothering him. It's incredible to me how this happens a couple of times in the last few chapters with a Canaanite woman, children, and now a man. They think, "Jesus is too big and too important to help this person." But the reality is that all of us are too small to deserve any attention from Jesus. He turns and wants to help the men, who everyone else rejects. He loves the lowest.
What's the Principle
When I was a kid, my dad would have a big pile of gravel or a big pile of dirt brought in, and we would play with that for as much as we could until he leveled it out. Our favorite game was king of the hill. It's a game where everyone is fighting to make it to the top of the hill. When you get to the top, the goal is to push others down so you can stay on top. Guess who always lost. I wasn't the biggest or the strongest, and that was the key to winning that game.
As I got older, I realized that some people are still playing that game. They are scrapping and scrambling to get to the top of the hill, and they like to push others down to maintain their position. But the game is played in the workplace or as we purchase new things. We want to be the most significant based on our success, and the great thing is that you don't have to be the strongest and biggest anymore. You have to be the smartest, the most cunning, or the most manipulative.
On occasion, even the humblest among us are lifted above other people. What happens when we get a taste of success? Often, we take advantage of that opportunity and bask in the glory of our moment of fame. We are the greatest, and we deserve this moment of recognition. But when we are lifted above everyone else, we play king of the hill. We want to stay on top or get back there when we get knocked off. The last thing we want to do is help someone else.
But Jesus is telling us to fight against that mentality. He wants us to make ourselves servants of all. We need to shift our thoughts away from what we see on the News, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, or Twitter. Greatness is not about appearing to have success or receiving recognition. It's not about how many likes we get on a post. Greatness is about service and enslaving yourself to others. We become great through suffering. I don't mean we have to grind and do a lot of work that will be hard and feel like suffering. Suffering so that we can exalt others is excellent in and of itself. We might suffer to do more service or improve our service, but we don't suffer to increase our power, authority, or influence. That is self-focused and results in a loss of greatness. We should want to give power, authority, and influence to the lowest in the kingdom.
Application
What does this mean for us? If we want to be great, we will not work hard and keep to ourselves. We won't despise the person who can't do what we can and gets in our way, nor will we use them to our benefit. We won't manipulate or persuade people to agree with our opinion and exalt us. The greatest doesn't presume that he or she is worthy of praise and authority. We need to stop being so selfish, full of ego, and trusting in ourselves.
This is not easy. Even the lowest among us can be angry and bitter about their position. We can despise those who appear to be at the top of the hill. This shows up as gossip and grumbling. We want things to happen our way because then we know that everything will work out. This is how you discourage men from wanting to serve as elders. The "my way or the highway" attitude has no place in the kingdom. We all know people who have had this attitude, but the truth is that we have had this attitude in ourselves. When we get a conviction, belief, or an opinion, something happens inside us, and we become proud of our understanding. We think we have to convert people to our opinions, so we dominate and control them.
I'm as guilty as anyone at this. It can easily show up in spiritual leaders, preachers, teachers, and elders. They do not have a right to "Lord it over the flock." Jesus says that the CEOs, drill sergeants, generals, managers, and bosses might Lord it over you, but the greatest doesn't do that in my kingdom. Peter also says this about elders and members.
1 Peter 5:1--10 (ESV) --- 1 So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: 2 shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; 3 not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. 5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
What would it look like to be great, and how could we have a congregation full of the most extraordinary people in the kingdom? I have met a lot of great people in the kingdom. They haven't baptized thousands of people and created megachurches. They seek to serve and not to be served. They suffer to make sure that the lowest is taken care of. They don't do that so that other people will see them. They do it because they genuinely love and want to serve them. I think of the people I've met whose lives show that they understood this and compare them with people who don't understand this.
Elders are easy to pick on, but I have seen tremendous servants in an eldership role. Men who endured tremendous suffering so that the flock could thrive. I have also seen men who do that without telling anyone that they did it. If you were to attend their congregation, you wouldn't know that they were elders. You would think they were just very humble and serving men in the congregation. It was evident that they rejected the "I'm the greatest" mentality. They were always there working and serving without shining a light on what they were doing. The congregation would enjoy the benefits without recognizing the work they were doing. I used to think it was unjust, but now I know that it will all work out for their benefit.
I have also known members who were considered great in the secular world. One of them is a CEO of a major shipping company in West Palm Beach. His responsibilities prohibit him from being an elder at this time, but he is a diligent member. He is working in the kingdom with complete humility and compassion toward others. I would have never known he was a CEO without seeing it on a Facebook post from his daughter. He and his wife are the sweetest people.
There are members here who have tremendous accomplishments globally, but they don't show up expecting others to bow before them or make them a king. They lower themselves and seek to serve others.
Being great begins with serving our family. Men, our family is not here to serve us. We are here to serve them. Women, the same goes for you. We serve our family, friends, church, neighbors, coworkers, community, and strangers as Jesus has served us and given his life a ransom for us. The more we serve and suffer from lifting others, the greater we become in the eyes of God. Don't worry about the eye of men.
Conclusion
It's so easy to not be great. We can be blinded by life daily. James and John were so close to Jesus, but they were blinded by their ambition and drive for more. Pursuing greatness with selfish motives only leads to failure. Jesus wants us to understand that the only way to be great in the kingdom he is establishing is by serving others and making ourselves the lowest. That's why he said, "The first will be last and the last will be first." The more authority and power we are given, the more we must focus on serving others and exalting them. This goes against everything inside of us and will inevitably bring suffering. But Jesus went through this for us, and he still reigns in heaven with a servant mentality. We must follow his example.
This is what makes the kingdom so great to be a part of. Everyone serves everyone else. Selfishness, infighting, and pride are not welcome here. When we feel pride rising in us, we need to remove ourselves from the high horse of authority and seek to serve. We need to lower ourselves so that we can exalt others.