Are You Ashamed? (1 John 2:28-3:10)
Have you ever felt ashamed? Maybe you got caught in the act of doing something you weren’t supposed to do, or you just found out you did something wrong. How does that feel? Can you remember, or have you blocked it out of your memory?
For most of us, that is a distant memory. We learned our lesson, and we don’t do things that might bring shame anymore. Some of us are in a repetitive cycle, and we can’t seem to find a way out of it. Maybe it’s a personality glitch, a failure to learn from our mistakes, a low level of self-confidence, or an ultra-sensitive conscience, but the feelings of shame come around all too often. If I were to ask you if shame is a good thing, I think we would get a unanimous “No!” No one enjoys being ashamed. As much as it might help us, we hate it and wish it wasn’t a part of life. Wouldn’t it be great if there was no more shame?
Shame Throughout The Bible
It may surprise you to hear that shame is a theme in the Bible. Shame is not foreign to scriptures. It is discussed in great detail, which makes this a critical topic. What does the Bible say about shame, and how can it help us deal with this horrible feeling?
The Beginning
In the beginning, we read that Adam and Eve felt shame in the Garden of Eden. Remember, after they ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they recognized that they were naked. So they sewed together fig leaves and covered themselves. Isn’t it fascinating that before they knew good and evil, there was no shame? It’s as though the guilt of breaking God’s law is the very act that made them ashamed. So we learn that guilt and shame go together. When God comes into the Garden, he can’t find them because they are hiding. Isn’t that interesting. This is our response when we are ashamed. We try to fix it and hide from those who might expose our mistakes and make us feel shame on the deepest level. That’s what Adam and Eve were trying to do, and they hated the shame of what they had done so much that they tried to lessen the weight by casting blame off on someone else. The man blamed the woman, and the woman blamed the snake.
Israel
As we work our way through the Bible, we notice multiple occasions, much like what happened in the beginning. People kept doing what they have always done, disobeying God, trying to fix it, hiding from God, and blaming others. But we learn that people eventually become cold and callous in their sin. At some point along the way, men and women get tired of feeling shame over what they have done. They decide that they have done nothing wrong, and instead of trying to fight against their passions and desires, they will just give in.
What’s interesting about this is what Hosea says about it.
Hosea 4:4--14 (ESV) --- 4 Yet let no one contend, and let none accuse, for with you is my contention, O priest. 5 You shall stumble by day; the prophet also shall stumble with you by night; and I will destroy your mother. 6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. 7 The more they increased, the more they sinned against me; I will change their glory into shame. 8 They feed on the sin of my people; they are greedy for their iniquity. 9 And it shall be like people, like priest; I will punish them for their ways and repay them for their deeds. 10 They shall eat, but not be satisfied; they shall play the whore, but not multiply, because they have forsaken the Lord to cherish 11 whoredom, wine, and new wine, which take away the understanding. 12 My people inquire of a piece of wood, and their walking staff gives them oracles. For a spirit of whoredom has led them astray, and they have left their God to play the whore. 13 They sacrifice on the tops of the mountains and burn offerings on the hills, under oak, poplar, and terebinth, because their shade is good. Therefore your daughters play the whore, and your brides commit adultery. 14 I will not punish your daughters when they play the whore, nor your brides when they commit adultery; for the men themselves go aside with prostitutes and sacrifice with cult prostitutes, and a people without understanding shall come to ruin.
Here we read that the Israelites are being destroyed because the priests haven’t taught them the law. These priests have “fed off of the sins of the people.” The more the people sin, the more money they give and the more sacrifices they offer. It is to their benefit to keep the people feeling guilt and shame. They are not helping them overcome and live righteous lives.
Judah
In Judah, the evil has grown even worse. They seem to have lost all understanding of what is shameful. Listen to the words of Jeremiah.
Jeremiah 6:13--15 (ESV) --- 13 “For from the least to the greatest of them, everyone is greedy for unjust gain; and from prophet to priest, everyone deals falsely. 14 They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace. 15 Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed; they did not know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,” says the Lord.
Jeremiah speaks against those who are greedy for unjust gain. He says they should have been ashamed of their great evil, but they were not ashamed. “They did not know how to blush.” So God will punish them and overthrow them for their evil. Later in the book of Ezekiel, he describes their sins in graphic detail. Chapter 16 of Ezekiel is PG-13, at least. But it describes the evil of Judah as being worse than Israel.
Ezekiel 16:15--21 (ESV) --- 15 “But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his. 16 You took some of your garments and made for yourself colorful shrines, and on them played the whore. The like has never been, nor ever shall be. 17 You also took your beautiful jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself images of men, and with them played the whore. 18 And you took your embroidered garments to cover them, and set my oil and my incense before them. 19 Also my bread that I gave you---I fed you with fine flour and oil and honey---you set before them for a pleasing aroma; and so it was, declares the Lord God. 20 And you took your sons and your daughters, whom you had borne to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your whorings so small a matter 21 that you slaughtered my children and delivered them up as an offering by fire to them?
Ezekiel 16:30--34 (ESV) --- 30 “How sick is your heart, declares the Lord God, because you did all these things, the deeds of a brazen prostitute, 31 building your vaulted chamber at the head of every street, and making your lofty place in every square. Yet you were not like a prostitute, because you scorned payment. 32 Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband! 33 Men give gifts to all prostitutes, but you gave your gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from every side with your whorings. 34 So you were different from other women in your whorings. No one solicited you to play the whore, and you gave payment, while no payment was given to you; therefore you were different.
Here God says that they had taken all of the blessings he had given them when they were nothing, and Judah has used them to pay people to use their gods. If that wasn’t enough, they gave God’s children to these foreign gods. Then, he says, “How sick is your heart?” A person who feels no guilt or shame when committing such evil actions has a sick heart. They don’t see their shame and their guilt, even though it is apparent to all. In Ezekiel, God says all the other nations are looking at Judah in horror because they do the things that they don’t even think of. When we look throughout the book of Ezekiel, it becomes evident that they have lost all sense of shame and guilt. So God has to help them with that.
Ezekiel 16:39 (ESV) --- 39 And I will give you into their hands, and they shall throw down your vaulted chamber and break down your lofty places. They shall strip you of your clothes and take your beautiful jewels and leave you naked and bare.
Ezekiel 16:62--63 (ESV) --- 62 I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, 63 that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I atone for you for all that you have done, declares the Lord God.”
God wants to help soften their hearts a little bit. He is going to make them ashamed of themselves in front of all the surrounding nations. Like Hosea’s wife Gomer on the auction block naked and abandoned. When Israel is at its lowest point, they will learn to be ashamed and feel the weight of their guilt.
We have to do this with our children when they become stubborn and rebellious. We have let them make mistakes and feel ashamed. My parents gave me a ton of freedom. The primary thing that did for me is open up the opportunity to make mistakes and feel ashamed. This has not been a fun week as I have remembered all of the shameful things I have done as a child. But those shameful things were working on my conscience to either harden it or soften it. Thankfully, they were able to soften it enough for God to give me the gospel.
One thing I find very interesting when looking at the book of Ezekiel is that God also makes them feel shame by showing them the kindness that is above and beyond what they were expecting. Chapters 40-48 are all about the new Temple that God would build for Judah and Israel. Their temple has been destroyed because of their sins, but God promises to build a better temple for them. Chapter 43 shows them that the temple will have a stream of life-giving water flowing out of it. Listen to God’s reason for revealing all of these plans to Ezekiel.
Ezekiel 43:10 (ESV) --- 10 “As for you, son of man, describe to the house of Israel the temple, that they may be ashamed of their iniquities; and they shall measure the plan.
The Promise To Remove Shame
I hope that gives you a sense of the shame that is seen throughout the Bible. There are many stories and passages, but I wanted to give you a sense of it. Now, let’s talk about God’s promise to remove shame. God doesn’t make people feel ashamed so that they would wallow in self-pity. He wants them to bounce back. He wants them to grow in righteousness so that they don’t have to be ashamed anymore. But, it would be shameful for them to grow in righteousness without maintaining a sense of humility toward God.
In Ezekiel 36, we read a great promise passage. God says that He will heal their land and take away the reproach of the nations.
Ezekiel 36:15 (ESV) --- 15 And I will not let you hear anymore the reproach of the nations, and you shall no longer bear the disgrace of the peoples and no longer cause your nation to stumble, declares the Lord God.”
Then he explains how he will do that.
Ezekiel 36:25--32 (ESV) --- 25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. 26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. 28 You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. 29 And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. And I will summon the grain and make it abundant and lay no famine upon you. 30 I will make the fruit of the tree and the increase of the field abundant, that you may never again suffer the disgrace of famine among the nations. 31 Then you will remember your evil ways, and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominations. 32 It is not for your sake that I will act, declares the Lord God; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel.
He says that they will loath themselves for their iniquities. That is the new heart and new spirit they will have. That doesn’t sound like a removal of shame. But God is saying he will fix their hearts so that they will feel shame and guilt again. This is the only way for men to change.
Our society seems to have the answer to this problem. The answer, according to them, is to remove guilt. “You see, your problem is that you think things are wrong because other people tell you they are wrong. But what’s wrong for other people may not be wrong for you.” Their answer is to remove all moral standards and make truth subject to everyone’s opinion. God’s answer is for us to face the truth about our sin and repent.
If we will do this, he promises to delete our shame.
Isaiah 61:7 (ESV) --- 7 Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.
This is a widely known text about Jesus coming, and verse 7 speaks explicitly to us. He says that our shame and dishonor will be replaced with tremendous blessings. Another picture of this is out in the foyer. Have you forgotten to look at it when you walk in?
Isaiah 55:12--13 (ESV) --- 12 “For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”
He says that the mountains and hills will break into singing, and the trees will clap their hands. This is supposed to be the result of God’s blessing upon his people. Instead of shame, there will be honor.
It’s Okay To Feel Shame
When we hear these words of hope, they may seem far off from us. As we live our lives, especially if we look at the Bible, we often feel ashamed of our sins. That’s actually the purpose of God’s word.
Hebrews 4:12--13 (ESV) --- 12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. 13 And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
But that’s a good thing. Consider the multiple stories and teachings of Jesus that tell us humility and mourning over sins are good things.
Matthew 5:2--12 (ESV) --- 2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. 7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. 8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Luke 7:36--39 (ESV) --- 36 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”
Luke 17:7--10 (ESV) --- 7 “Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? 8 Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? 9 Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? 10 So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’ ”
Luke 18:9--14 (ESV) --- 9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
These are examples that show us that Jesus and God can only be glorified when we humble ourselves before them. We must embrace the shame and guilt for us to find forgiveness. Only then will our forgiveness propel us into a state of greater righteousness and obedience. That’s what God is looking for. Eventually, there will be no more shame because there will be no more sin. We need time to accept shame and guilt as good things. Then we slowly start removing it from our lives. We don’t remove it by ignoring our sins and guilt but by repenting of them and reducing how guilty we are.
This is what God wants for us. He doesn’t want us to go on sinning and continually feel guilty because we are letting him and Jesus down. He doesn’t want us to be depressed and aggravated about our weaknesses. He wants us to overcome our weaknesses and shine a light for the world to see his glory. He wants us to receive praise and glory and honor when Jesus returns.
1 Peter 1:3--9 (ESV) --- 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith---more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire---may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
The words of Peter are so unique to me. He says that when we endure trials and temptations with strength, we are promised praise, glory, and honor. We can receive that for ourselves. That’s what God wants for us. It may feel like we don’t deserve it because we don’t. That’s the wonder of forgiveness. He doesn’t count the evil we have done against us, but the good is added to our account. As long as we are faithfully loving God and striving to serve him, Jesus will add all of these things to us. Be ashamed of the failures, but know that Jesus’ blood is more extensive than our worst mistakes.
How Do We Grow Out Of Shame?
1 John 2:28--3:10 (ESV) --- 28 And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. 29 If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him. 1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 3 And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. 4 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 5 You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 6 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. 8 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. 9 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.
This last text is critical. It is the basis for this whole lesson. John tells us to abide in Christ with confidence and practice righteousness. If we pursue sin, we aren’t abiding in Christ and cannot be called children of God. But if we are pursuing righteousness and abstaining from sin, we can abide in Christ and be called children of God.
Conclusion
God shows us throughout the Bible that we cannot remove our guilt and sin, but men and women everywhere have been trying to do this for centuries. We, ourselves, have tried to act as though we weren’t sinning while having corrupted hearts and pursuing evil. When we are doing evil, God wants us to feel ashamed. He did not create us to be evil. He created us to be righteous like he is righteous. The best thing we can do is let the word of God expose our sin and grow toward what God wants us to be. Then, we can stand unashamed as we abide in Jesus for the forgiveness of sins.
If you are ashamed of your sins and the evil in your life, Jesus wants you to humble yourself and come to him. When he says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,” he is not talking about people who are suffering burnout or living a hard life. The burden he came to handle is a burden of guilt and shame. He wants to take all of that guilt and shame away from us. He will take care of it for us and provide rest for our souls. You say, “That sounds great!” Would you mind counting the cost? To enjoy this blessing, you must lose your life. If you want to keep your old way of sinful living, you can’t have what Jesus offers you. The choice is either be born of God through the blood of Jesus and has forgiveness, or be born of the devil and enjoy a life of sin along with eternal punishment.