Real Love (Romans 13:8)

Earlier this year, we discussed that our goal is not to go to church. God is not satisfied when we put in the time to do something we don’t want. Furthermore, the church is not something we do, a place we go, a business we are part of, or a club we join. The church is a group of people. It’s a body of believers who interact as a family. The goal of that series was to see who we were. I was simply trying to define our identity and clarify our minds.

Now, it’s time for us to move a step further. Today, we will begin a series of lessons on what the church is supposed to do and what it’s not supposed to do. It’s not enough for us to know the truth about our identity. We must choose to live it out.

As the Lord’s church, what is our goal? Are we just looking to go to services without too much interaction or commitment? I’ve spoken to people who felt that way. I’ve invited someone who told me they weren’t comfortable having so many people come up and talk to them. They felt socially awkward and embarrassed because they didn’t know how to interact with new people. That’s increasingly becoming the world we live in. But we aren’t here to remain independent individuals. We are here to connect as the body of Christ and live the way God calls us to live.

Over the next few weeks, I want us to discuss what God has called us to do. We will be breaking down some basic concepts to think more deeply about them. I hope you can join us because this has already been a massive help for me.

Love Each Other

For our first study, we will look at something that we have to consider number 1. As the body of Christ, we are called to love. Consider what Paul says in Romans 13.

Romans 13:8 (ESV) --- 8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

This statement from Paul in Romans 13 is at the core of what we are supposed to do. He tells us to owe no one anything except to love each other. Read that carefully. This verse does not command us to stop taking out loans or keep our money problems to ourselves. That’s not what this is about. That’s a small part of it. If that were it, this would be easy.

Instead of asking people for money and feeling the crushing weight of being indebted to a brother in Christ, we should feel a crushing weight of indebtedness to love our brethren. That’s odd. Wouldn’t it be better if we were even? Wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t owe each other money or love?

We may feel indebted to God as God’s people, forgiven and sanctified. But God doesn’t call for us to pay him back directly. We are called to love one another. Paul says that love is what fulfills the law we are under. If you want to be pleasing to God under the law of Christ, love each other. God sees how we treat one another as a direct reflection of our love or lack thereof. It’s like a Father telling people, “You show me love when you love my children, but you offend me when you fail to care for them as you should.” If you want to please God with your life, you have to love his people.

What Does Your Love Look Like?

Maybe you are upset to hear this because you have tried to love church members before, and it didn’t work out. What does it look like for you to love someone? How does God expect me to love such imperfect people? Let’s break this down. There is a broader sense of loving people and a more precise sense.

Loving People In General

In the broader sense, loving people around us means we step into that relationship with a genuine desire to care for that person. Loving people means that it’s not about me.

Genuine Love

Romans 12:9 (ESV) --- 9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

He says, “Let love be genuine.” I like that way of saying it. He doesn’t command us to be genuine. He tells us to “let” our love be genuine. It’s as though we refuse to let it. We need to permit ourselves to love beyond superficial love. Genuine love is something we are scared to do. It’s easy to act like we love people we don’t care for. We can smile and speak kindly to someone face to face, but to genuinely love them is hard.

This means our assemblies should not be a bunch of random strangers who smile and say hi on Sundays. We should be developing relationships with these men and women. I think we all know that there is a superficial love that we all live without a care or concern in the world. But genuine love is something we don’t hand out very often because we know that loving people with genuine love might get us hurt. After all, the people in God’s church are very imperfect people.

What does genuine love look like? It looks like forgiving the brother who fails to show up on time when they have the singing or the Lord’s Supper. It looks like bearing with the sweet lady who is harsh, critical, and judgmental toward you. It looks like being patient and understanding toward those who don’t share your opinion or see things as you do in a passage.

But it’s more than that. Those are all passive. Genuine love goes and visits our shut-ins. Genuine love invites visitors out to eat. It invites the weaker members to their homes. It invests time in God’s people with a genuine desire to befriend them. Yes, God calls us to genuine love. Genuine love goes farther than surface level, doesn’t it?

Brotherly Affection

Read the next verse.

Romans 12:10--11 (ESV) --- 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.

In this paragraph, we see a description of genuine love. The genuine love that we should feel toward one another resembles the type of love we have for a brother. I know what that type of love is like because I grew up with a brother. We didn’t always get along, but as we got older, we felt a deeper connection than any friendship. It’s like one day, he woke up and decided that he would stop being mean to me. It’s like he suddenly wanted me to be his best friend, and now we are close. It’s hard to explain. Something about that bond was different. It’s like he knew I’d do anything for him, and I knew he’d do anything for me.

That’s what we are supposed to feel for each other. There is supposed to be that level of loyalty and dedication. We don’t take advantage of one another. We want what’s best for each other. As he continues, he describes that brotherly affection by saying, “Outdo one another in showing honor.” There is mutual respect and honor among good brothers. They look at everything the other does and want to approve. They want to believe in good things.

Paul wants us to let our love be genuine with brotherly affection towards each other. How would you treat your brother? Would you seek to honor and respect him? Look around the room. Wouldn’t you like to have that relationship with many others in this room? That would be a great family to be a part of. We need to start developing deeper connections, give one another the benefit of the doubt, and refuse to believe something negative about our brethren until it’s beyond any doubt. We need a zeal for relating to one another and a willingness to take the relationship deeper.

Loving People In Detail

In a detailed sense, loving people means understanding them. When we think about it, we all have grown up with different relationship experiences. Some of us feel loved when the other person initiates a conversation. In contrast, others get exhausted after talking for a little bit---some value physical affection, while others have a real issue with being touched. No two people are exactly alike. So, it’s essential to learn how to love people and communicate the type of love we appreciate. Let’s see how Paul puts this.

Contributing To Their Needs

Romans 12:12--13 (ESV) --- 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

As Paul talks about loving each other, he mentions rejoicing, patience, and prayer. Isn’t it great that God is pleased when we love one another? He truly wants what’s best for us. He wants us to enjoy the best possible life. He wants those suffering alone to have someone there with them to hold their hands and encourage them to be patient, and he wants the one who doesn’t receive a blessing to share the joy with the person who does. He wants us to be for each other, cheering each other on. When he says, “Be constant in prayer,” he talks about praying for one another. We aim to pray for each other and lift one another up through prayer.

Notice at the end. He says, “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” To show love to someone, we have to understand what they need. That’s what I mean by saying we have to love people in detail. We need to know the complex needs of our brethren and be willing to give them what they need.

It doesn’t make me feel loved when you give me what you need. First, you have to find out what I need. Then, you have to contribute to that need. Isn’t that difficult? That means that we must develop a relationship. We have to come to know each other. When we develop a relationship with others, we share our struggles and needs with one another. Think about it. What does your brother need? How could we find that out and give it to them?

Fellowship

How can we figure that out? Notice also the phrase, “Seek to show hospitality.” When we think of hospitality, we might think of having people over to our house. That’s part of it, and it’s a big part. But there is more to hospitality than that. Hospitality can be providing a comfortable place to stay, a nice meal, or even just being willing to listen with a desire to connect with others, build relationships, and create a sense of community. We all need people working to create a positive environment and deeper relationships.

When we talk about loving each other with genuine love, we talk about fellowship. Months ago, we looked at a section of Acts where the first gathering of Christians was wholly involved in one another’s lives. Those who had much sold what they had and gave to the apostles to support brethren who needed it. There was true fellowship.

Acts 2:42 (ESV) --- 42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.‌

Remember us spending a whole lesson talking about this one verse? These Christians devoted themselves to the apostle’s teachings, the fellowship, the breaking of bread, and the prayers. What do they mean when they say, “The fellowship?” Fellowship is not food. I’m sure they shared meals together but weren’t devoting themselves to eating. They were devoting themselves to one another. They shared their lives. Fellowship is about relationships.

When we mesh the ideas of owing our brethren love and devoting ourselves to fellowship, we see that we cannot be mere acquaintances. We have to connect on a deeper level. Food can be involved, but it’s not about food. It’s about participating in one another’s lives. That fellowship is what genuine love looks like.

Lessons

As God’s people, what are we here for? What is our purpose? First and foremost, we are here to love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strengths. But the best way to love God is to love his people. We must feel obligated to love our brethren as though we owe them a tremendous amount of love. How much debt do you feel like you owe God? He doesn’t care about receiving payment. He wants all that debt we feel toward Him to be paid by loving each other.

Application

Have you genuinely loved your brethren with brotherly affection, or has it been for a show? Do you take the time to understand the needs of those around you, and are you willing to give them what they need?

John 13:35 (ESV) --- 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

This isn’t just a recommendation. This is what we are supposed to be known for! God saved us to love each other. How are you planning to love your brethren with genuine love? I’ll tell you, I have felt the love of this congregation. I’m convinced that if the weakest member here felt half the amount of love I feel, we would be the most loving congregation on earth. We receive more love from all of you than we deserve. I don’t say that because I want less love, but because we need to be careful not only to show love for the preacher. Serve those who cannot serve you.

Maybe you feel like no one has shown you any love. Have you opened up about your needs with your brethren? Are you willing to connect with people on a deeper level? I’ve seen some of you trying. Please don’t let your brother or sister down. Reach out and pull them into your life. Fellowship is not about food. It’s about relationships. We must be willing to share our lives.

I hope our number has grown five years from now, so it’s hard to know everyone. But, even if it doesn’t, I pray that we become the kind of congregation that people wish they could be a part of.

Conclusion

When we have the “I go to church” mentality, we miss out on our purpose as the church. We are here to love as Christ has loved us. That means having patience and encouragement. It means sharing brotherly affection and honor. But, above all, it means meeting one another’s needs. This is what we do.

Over the next few weeks, we will dive into more topics like this, discussing what we do as the church of Christ. I encourage you to make it to these lessons and put this information to use in your life.