Children's Faith (Psalm 127)

Psalm 127 (ESV) — A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. 1 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

We have been looking at passages that discuss family members to develop a more Biblical view of our roles in the family. We studied husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. Each role is vital for the church to grow as it should. Most of our spiritual growth and maturing happens outside of these walls as we relate with those in our family. If we aren't setting a godly example among our immediate family, we better believe that the church will disintegrate from the inside out. Wives and husbands should be loving one another as Christ has loved you. Fathers and mothers should train their children on how to go so they will see good days and reap eternal benefits.

Today, we are going to focus on the importance of children. We will compare what the world says about children and what God says about them. Then, we will discuss the role of children in the family, and we will finish by considering some practical ways we can help children be what they ought to be or how we can be the children God wants us to be for our parents.

The Distorted View of Children

In our time, children are often seen as burdensome and inconvenient. If that weren't true, there would be no abortions. Everyone would be excited to have children. The more, the better. Many children are not brought into the world today because our society fails to understand their value and potential. Everyone is too busy foolishly pursuing their wants and desires to devote the time needed to raise children.

Also, children are being exploited like never before. The consumerism of our day is not restricted to adults. They come after our money through our children. Commercials and social media influencers promise that buying these things will give us the ultimate fulfillment, but it's always empty and meaningless. Children struggle with cruelty, jealousy, and envy, but our materialistic age worsens it. Furthermore, in some ways, children are encouraged to rage against their parents with disrespect, while parents are taught not to discipline their children.

As parents, even if we pay attention to our kids, we can easily be distracted. We might be inclined to care more about outward obedience than true heartfelt submission. I have noticed that it's easier to make them look good than to spend the time it takes to help them truly be good from the inside out. The world wants us to focus on academic and athletic achievement rather than character development and spiritual maturity.

God's View

God created us with the ability to create children. He told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. He wanted the earth to be populated with image bearers. He wanted them to demonstrate his glory. God sees children as extremely valuable, pure, and innocent. He sees them as having massive potential.

Psalm 127 (ESV) — A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. 1 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

I love this Psalm about children. It speaks to the need for God to be involved in their training. Children aren't an inconvenience. They are a reward and a blessing. In our world, they are seen as an inconvenience or a burden, but they are a blessing from God. When the Lord builds the house, children are like arrows. You might wonder in what sense children are like arrows. Arrows have tremendous potential when the archer puts in the work and guides it in the right direction. Just as an arrow is pointed and shot in a specific direction, children are raised and guided to go out into the world and make an impact. Parents' responsibility is to shape, guide, and aim their children towards a God-honoring direction in life. But when they do that, there is joy!

Proverbs 23:24 (ESV) — 24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.

Proverbs 17:6 (ESV) — 6 Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

Proverbs 29:17 (ESV) — 17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

He says," They are like arrows in the hand of a warrior." This means that success in the battle of life is found in having well-trained children who are straight as arrows. They can give us tremendous joy and not shame. God always desires that children be cared for and trained to be what they were created to be: image bearers.

But probably the most transparent view of God's love for children came with Jesus. He looked at them, spent time with them, and blessed them, saying, "To such belong the kingdom of heaven." He didn't want to overlook them to reach the more important adults. We need to believe that. These are the future kingdom leaders in this congregation and other congregations worldwide. They need to be valued, trained and encouraged in that.

A Child's Role

God sees children as extremely valuable and as a blessing. He sees them as having great potential to go out into the world and impact the battle against Satan. How can this potential be realized? What do children need?

OBEY

First, Children must be trained to obey their mother and father. God expects children to obey their mother and father. This is their command. How are parents supposed to make that happen? Is it enough if they make it happen? Shouldn't they want to obey? If they won't right now, that doesn't mean they can't. Parents have to put in the time necessary to make this happen. Remember, they won't obey God if they don't obey us.

I need to say this, even though it seems obvious. Children are not adults. They aren't parents. We don't obey them. They don't get to decide what the family will or will not do. Their role is not to lead the family but to follow the parents who lead them. In the Ten Commandments, God gives one command to children: "Obey your mother and father." He says that if they will do this, they will have a good life. This idea is repeated in the New Testament.

Ephesians 6:1–3 (ESV) — 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

When a child doesn't want to listen to their parent, who means them the best, they are destined for a life of pain and suffering. That's why this is so important. We have generations being raised without this fundamental command being taught, which will destroy society's fabric.

Learning, Growing, and Participating

The second role of a child in the home is to learn and grow. They cannot be expected to know how to do things. Instead, we should expect to help them learn new things constantly. If our children sit in front of a TV screen and play with toys all the time, they won't grow. They need to learn who God is and what God wants from them. They need opportunities to see what it's like to be a servant of God. They need training in the difficulty of overcoming temptations and developing self-control. They need training in the joy of doing good work.

As parents, we should provide them with opportunities to be the best servant of God they could be. They should hear God's word coming out of our mouths because it is in our hearts. They should see God's word transforming us into the people God wants us to be. Perhaps you feel like you don't know enough to teach them. We can learn all this and bring our kids along, learning how to do it together.

Not only should they be learning, but they should be participating. Children need to be included to reach their fullest potential. We learn by watching, but we learn by doing. They should go with us as we do good work for others. They should help us make meals for others, repair fences, cut grass, or visit hospitals.

We have to prioritize spiritual gatherings and spiritual good works. They are more valuable than the fun they want to be doing. We have to teach them to be engaged in the lives of others, and that starts with us as parents being engaged in the lives of each other. We are setting their example, but we should also bring them along. Let them do an imperfect job to feel like a working part of the church family.

What Do Children Need?

Let's be honest. Children do not come out of the womb ready to obey and learn from us. They don't even know the difference between good and evil. They don't want to obey mom and dad. They have to be taught to listen and respect what we say so that they can learn to refuse the evil and choose the good.

Isaiah 7:14–16 (ESV) — 14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. 15 He shall eat curds and honey when he knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good. 16 For before the boy knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good, the land whose two kings you dread will be deserted.

This text tells us that there is a time when boys and girls don't know how to choose what is good and refuse what is evil. They need to be trained. Training includes love, compassion, nurturing care, instruction, rewards, and discipline. When they grow to be about 1.5 years old, they start to want things they cannot have and become defiant and rebellious. They enter into a bunch of decision loops. When I decide to do this, this happens. Let's try that again and see if it happens again. They test the boundaries to see how flexible they are. They want well-defined boundaries and consistent results.

They Need Discipline

When they make bad decisions and get rewarded, they want to do that again. They are innocent because they don't know what they are doing. But they need to suffer consequences to help them mature. That's what God expects.

If they make enough terrible decisions without receiving punishments, they grow worse. They stop being sweet little angels all the time. If your sweet little angel turns sour, don't act like they are sweet as they become terrorists. If they are terrorists, treat them like terrorists. We don't negotiate with terrorists because that encourages more terrorism.

Proverbs 13:24 (ESV) — 24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Proverbs 22:15 (ESV) — 15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Proverbs 29:15 (ESV) — 15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Here, we have a set of infamous texts. There are more, but I don't want to overload you. This text almost makes training sound like child abuse is being encouraged, but he talks about the part of training that parents hate most: spanking. They tell us we must punish terrorism. Why? For them to have a happy life and for us to have a happy life. If we refuse to listen to God's advice and believe in pop culture's parenting methodology, it will not go well for our children or us. They will suffer a fate worse than a sore rear end.

They Need Kindness and Love

I also love Prov 22:6 as motivation.

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV) — 6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

But look carefully at this text. Notice that it's not enough to shelter our children from the evil way. We have to show them the way to go. We have to train them to avoid the evil way and choose the good. That takes time, effort, and conditioning.

This is an infamous text because many good parents raise defiant children. It asks, "How trained must a child be for this to be true?" We always say that these are general truths and there are no guarantees, but the truth is that a child who errs can be deceived. Can we possibly prepare them for every deception? No. No parent is perfect, but the more we train, the better their odds. God wants my children to reach their fullest spiritual potential. He wants them to be shining examples for others all their lives.

That means that children need to be trained to have the fruit of the Spirit. They need love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. We must show them how to be what God has called us all to be in Christ. Even before they know Christ intellectually, they should know him emotionally and spiritually. They should feel a connection with him and a draw to him that makes them resist the draw to the world.

We are talking about having a good heart. Training a child how they should go means training them to love good and hate evil. It means training them to live the life they will live in Christ and enjoy it because it is the only one that will give them peace.

I often point out to my children when they show a corrupted heart. If their thoughts and motives are impure, I point that out and tell them that God sees the heart, and we have to guard it.

Proverbs 4:23 (ESV) — 23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

They Need Faith

Finally, children need to be taught to put their faith in God.

Proverbs 3:5–6 (ESV) — 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

If we train our children to rely on their abilities, they will be unsatisfied and stray from what God wants them to be. Our children need to learn to trust in God. In some ways, they are the easiest to train in this. They more easily believe in things they do not see. But we must solidify their faith. I make a distinction between magic and the Bible. They know that magic is not accurate, but God is not magic. I'll let them connect all the dots. I provide the basis that magic isn't real. Then, they can figure out what they believe is magic is not real, but God is not like that. He is in a league of his own because he exists and created everything we see, touch, and experience in this life.

Talk about God to your children and teach them to trust him. Set the example because if we say we trust him and lean on our understanding, we are hypocrites, and they don't need hypocrites.

Conclusion

You might have children at all different stages of life, ranging from tiny to adult. They all need us to guide them with our experience. They need us to keep growing and sharing what we know. They need us to have a good heart and exemplify an obedient life.

Children, I hope you heard some of this and understand your role in the family. One day, you will be fathers and mothers with your children. Then, all of this will make more sense. Until then, keep obeying mom and dad, even when you don't want to. A life of obedience holds your best chance at success. All of your friends who rebel will suffer. They don't know what they are doing. Be more intelligent and wiser than them.

Proverbs 1:8–9 (ESV) — 8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.