Grace, Faith, Love, Mom (Titus 2:3-5)

Being a mother is easy… said no mother ever. I don't typically pay any attention to holidays, but I decided that this series was too close to Mother's Day not to give a lesson on motherhood on Mother's Day. This is the day we honor our mothers for the sacrifices they consistently give. Mothers, in general, tend to pour themselves out for their children and families. Most people in this room have a mother who deserves to be honored. Why? Because the role of a mother has always been a role of love and compassion.

But the world around us is crazy. They are seeking to destroy the biblical model of motherhood. As I mentioned last week, fathers are being pushed out, and mothers are expected to carry the weight of running the house and raising the children alone. In our feminist world, women are encouraged to be independent from their husbands and children. Single motherhood is encouraged as though it's an achievement. Are we so diluted to think that a mother having to do it all herself is a good thing and that children raised in a fatherless home are okay? This is not okay. I understand that some women are forced to be in that position, and some handle it well. But this is not the role women were designed for. Being the father and the mother means doing both things poorly. It's like being a jack of all trades and master of none. Why can't we make traditional families a good thing again? Why can't we allow the mothers to stay and excel in their role?

The Failure Of Men

When this happens in society, it's a sign that men have not stepped up to fulfill their role. In the book of Judges, we read about a woman named Deborah. She must have been a fantastic woman to be called a judge of Israel, but as we see the story unfold, it becomes evident that this added responsibility is not her choice but a necessity.

Judges 4:6–8 (ESV) — 6 She sent and summoned Barak the son of Abinoam from Kedesh-naphtali and said to him, “Has not the Lord, the God of Israel, commanded you, ‘Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor, taking 10,000 from the people of Naphtali and the people of Zebulun. 7 And I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin’s army, to meet you by the river Kishon with his chariots and his troops, and I will give him into your hand’?” 8 Barak said to her, “If you will go with me, I will go, but if you will not go with me, I will not go.”

Do you see the problem? Deborah is a prophetess. She speaks on behalf of God and tells Barak that God will help him destroy their oppressors, but Barak doesn't have enough faith to go without Deborah going along. There is something wrong here. I know that I sound like a typical misogynist, but come on. Throughout history, men are always the ones who go out and fight in battles. They are built for it. When a robber enters the house, the man is supposed to protect. We would look down on a man who cowers behind his woman. Maybe that would be a comedic thing on our television, but we would roll our eyes at this in real life. Guys aren't supposed to be wimps. Don't bring up your boys to be wimps. Please encourage them to be tough and brave.

The result of Barak not being brave is a loss of honor. The captain of the Canaanite army, Sisera, ends up being killed by Jael, a woman with a tent peg and a mallet. Then, Deborah has a song devoted to her where she is called the "mother of Israel." She did what mothers do. In the absence of strong male leadership, they stand up and do what has to be done. The failure of men has led to the standing up of women.

Men, I know I already said a lot to you last week, but we have to change. We have to be present and diligent to lead the way for our families. Even though the world tells us not to worry about it and keep playing video games, we must step up.

Motherhood In God's Image

There are different types of mothers in this room. Some of you are staying at home and keeping your children. Some are working to provide what is needed for those children and sending them to daycare or school. Some of you mothers don't even have children of your own. You spend time caring for and training your nieces, nephews, cousins, or even children from church. Your role is vital. The tender love and compassion of a mother is unparalleled.

It's interesting to study this. In Genesis 1, we see that God made man in his image. But verse 27 says, "In the image of God he created him, male and female he created them." It's as though the combination of man and woman brings up the fullness of the image. Women are not like men. They have characteristics and qualities that complete the image of God.

Isaiah 66:13 (ESV) — 13 As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

Isaiah 49:13–16 (ESV) — 13 Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on his afflicted. 14 But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.” 15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 16 Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.

God uses this characteristic about mothers to explain his nature. He can comfort like a mother, and he will remember and care for his child like a mother. I love the picture God gives us of a mother's love for her child. He says that he has engraved his people on the palms of his hands. In the context of a mother's care for her child, this is a statement of absolute unconditional love. That's God's love for his people, and it resembles a good mother's love for her children.

So mothers deserve to be exalted for this. In some ways, they naturally care for their children more than the fathers ever will. It's part of how God created them. He made them soft and gentle so that they could provide that comfort in times of struggle. Jenna does a better job providing the shoulder to cry on in our house. I encourage strength and toughness, but she shows them how to be tender and gentle. We need that combination, and we appreciate the care our mothers give us.

A Godly Mother

There are many misconceptions about mothers. People try to make mothers fit into a specific box. Some people view moms who work outside the home to be sinful or evil in some way. Others see stay-at-home moms as lazy. But we must always consider seeking to honor one another in our decisions. Our goal is not to judge mothers who do things differently than us.

When we look at the scriptures, we find that women are honored for helping their husbands provide. But they must not fail to maintain their role at home with children.

Working Mothers

Those who feel the need to work have scriptures to back that up. When we think about the qualities of a godly mother, Proverbs 31 comes to mind.

Proverbs 31:10–12 (ESV) — 10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:23 (ESV) — 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

This section of Proverbs is primarily about a man making a wise choice for a wife and trying to find someone who will do him good and not evil. But part of the work this wife is engaged in is taking care of her household. Notice that the Proverbs 31 woman does work. She helps the man to provide what is needed for the whole household. She works hard and gives generously.

Proverbs 31:13–21 (ESV) — 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

‌She works hard but notices that her work is not for herself. She is not independent from her family. She works hard to provide for them and others as well. Her life is all about service and compassion.

But she also has a role in training the children, spending time teaching them. The main problem that comes with a mother who works is the neglect of her children. If we rely on others to raise our children the way they should, we fail them. Mothers must devote themselves to teaching their children who God is and how God expects them to live.

Proverbs 31:26 (ESV) — 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:30 (ESV) — 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Of all the texts in scripture that we read about women, this section stands out. This godly woman is entirely devoted to her family and her God.

The Role Of Godly Mothers‌

In the New Testament, we find more specific instructions for mothers.

Titus 2:3–5 (ESV) — 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

This passage has even greater weight, not just because it's in the New Testament, but because it points specifically to what God wants mothers to do. As we study this text, we must apply it to those who work and those who stay at home. Regardless of your situation, God wants you to learn this form of godliness.

The influence and impact of a woman is unbelievable. They can encourage and build up people like no one else. They can also trip up and tempt like no one else. Men might be given the headship, but women are given the power of influence.

Love

He says older women should teach younger women to love their husbands and children. Why would a young woman need training in that? I wouldn't think that that is a tough thing. Ladies, aren't your husband and children extraordinary? I'm sure they never do anything bothersome or unappreciative. The truth is that sometimes, our husbands can be challenging to love. Children also know how to say and do things that get on a mother's last nerve. The messes and the questions are never-ending in our house. It mainly takes a lot of effort to love people who seem to disregard all that you do.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 (ESV) — 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

This is at the core of what older women are to teach younger women. Without love, all our good works are empty. Love is complicated for us. Satan is constantly trying to create feelings of selfishness. He wants mothers to be short-tempered and easily irritated. He wants them to give up on loving their family and pursue a life that will temporarily satisfy them.

But God wants love and lots of it. Love helps the family grow and flourish. Mothers are typically good at being loving and compassionate comforters, but they must learn to do it even more. Older women must teach the younger.

Self-Controlled, Pure, & Kind

As we continue studying this section, we see that mothers are to be self-controlled, pure, and kind. Paul calls for moms to exemplify the Christian life for their children. All of these qualities we want to see in our children. We want them to be loving, kind, self-controlled, pure, and considerate. Of course, fathers are also supposed to do this. Still, mothers exemplify the proper attitude and disposition around their children because they naturally spend more time with them.

Working At Home

He adds that the mother should be working at home, kind, and submissive to her husband. These things do not go over well in our society. But as it is expected for a man to provide for and protect the home (as he is able), it is expected for the woman to work in the home, caring for the children and the many things a family needs.

Reviling The Word of God

Do you find this liberating or oppressive? These aren't the words of a misogynistic loon. These are the words of an inspired apostle. The last part of this is striking. He says, "That the word of God may not be reviled." The word revile means to criticize in an abusive way. Paul says that when mothers resist their role of love, self-control, purity, and kindness when they don't want to work at home or submit to their husbands, they bring about a situation where the word of God is reviled. By whom? This sounds a lot like "provoking your child to anger." Paul tells us that when a mother refuses to demonstrate love, self-control, purity, and kindness, when she refuses to work from home and has a submissive attitude toward her husband, children follow her example. They see her disregard God's plan, and they follow suit.

A Good Example

When we go to 2 Timothy 3:14-15, we see the opposite happen. Paul tells Timothy to remember what his mother taught him.

2 Timothy 3:14–15 (ESV) — 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15 and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

Timothy didn't become a sacrificial servant of God on his own. Paul would say of him, "I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare." The mother of Timothy brought her son upright. She and her mother fed Timothy with a steady diet of scriptures so that he would be vital in his faith. Paul tells Timothy he can hold on to those blessed teachings for the rest of his life.

Reflections

Mothers are designed to be different. They are blessed with compassion and tenderness built right in. As a father, I sometimes look at how sweet and gentle Jenna can be. I try to emulate her, but it's just not the same. Looking back on my childhood, I understand there is a place for both. I needed my dad to be strong and stern but my mom to be gentle and sweet. I needed her love and admiration as I was growing up. She has said things to me that have formed who I am. I don't believe that anyone on this planet has had a more significant impact on my character than my mother. She used to take me to the grocery store with her every week, and I would always ask for a new basketball or some kind of toy, but I would settle for an Icee or a trip to Hardees.

I remember her telling me she loved my personality and encouraging me to keep having a mustache when mustaches weren't that cool. I remember she loved talking to me and spending time with me. She was kind and self-controlled. She worked full-time but did her best to care for us. The only thing I wish were different is that I could have spent more time with her and that she would have shared the word of God with me.

Don't let the world distract you and change you from being what your child needs you to be. Pursue the role of comforter and supporter. If your husband refuses to step into the leadership role, do what you must, but remain self-controlled, pure, kind, and submissive. Remember that you will probably be the most significant influence on your children.

Conclusion

It's not easy to be a mother. But no one can mother your kids as well as you can. Your children count on you to hold it together and give them an example. Will you love them unconditionally and be there to show them the way? Will you build them up in the word of God so that they grow wise to salvation like Timothy? That's what matters in life. It's not the education or the achievements in sports. Do they know God and Christ Jesus? Have they learned the truth from you and see you living it out?

I hope and pray that God will work in the lives of all the mothers in this place to grow in love for God and their families. May they have the strength to endure whatever difficulties lie ahead, and may they grow as God wants them to.