Bear With one Another (Col 3:12-17)
Have you ever been annoyed, discouraged, or hurt by someone? Perhaps their words or actions felt judgmental, cold, or hateful. This experience is often compounded when it comes from fellow believers.
Now, consider the reverse: Have you ever annoyed, discouraged, or hurt someone else? We all, intentionally or not, cause irritation or pain. Sometimes it's our fault; other times, it stems from unmet expectations. Regardless, it's impossible to please everyone.
With this in mind, let's explore a topic crucial for church health and spiritual growth: "Bearing with one another." This concept, part of our "one another" series, involves understanding its meaning, its importance, and its practical application.
Bearing With One Another
Colossians 3:12–14 (ESV) states: "Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Paul instructs the Colossian church to "bear with one another." This means to endure, to suffer, or to put up with. It implies patiently enduring trials and difficulties with strength. When applied to our brothers and sisters in Christ, "bearing with" means we don't attack, slander, gossip, or dismiss them when they cause us pain. Instead, we uplift, encourage, challenge or rebuke when necessary, and always forgive.
I've witnessed congregations struggle with this. I recall instances where minor disagreements—like fire code compliance or VBS decorations — escalated because individuals failed to bear with each other.
"The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Why Bear With One Another?
It’s easy to dismiss others' frustrations as trivial, yet we often react similarly when our own "sacred cows" are tipped over. We might wonder, "Does God truly expect me to bear this cost to myself and my ego?" Paul offers three compelling reasons why we should bear with those who wrong us.
1. Command
The most direct reason is that it is a command. However, acting solely out of obligation can foster resistance. While commands motivate action, they don't always inspire obedience.
2. Identity
The deeper, more inspiring reason Paul provides is our identity: "as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved." When we react impatiently or coldly to a fellow believer, we should ask ourselves, "Who do I think I am?" Such behavior suggests a flawed self-perception, as if we are judges rather than fellow recipients of grace.
God identifies us as His chosen ones—the poor in spirit, the meek, the mourners, those who hunger for righteousness. He desires us as His adopted children, seeing us as "holy and beloved." Remembering this identity is not just motivating; it's profoundly inspiring.We can choose selfish ambition, biting and devouring each other, but this prevents us from becoming what God intends. God chose a humble and meek people precisely because they would bear with one another, fostering something remarkable.
3. Harmony
Finally, bearing with one another leads to harmony. Verse 14 states that love "binds everything together in perfect harmony."
This binding together alludes to Paul’s analogy of the church as a body, joined by "joints, tendons, and ligaments," highlights that our love forms the body's essence. Through the "growing pains" of spiritual maturity, bearing with one another strengthens our bonds, creating an inseparable unity.
God's command to bear with one another provides motivation. Our identity as His chosen, holy, and beloved children offers inspiration. But the profound knowledge that we are creating a stronger bond and greater harmony, like a beautiful melody, is truly compelling and transformative. It moves us beyond mere obedience, encouraging active participation in building a community that reflects God's love and grace. This harmony strengthens us individually and collectively, enabling us to fulfill our purpose as a united body in Christ.
Don't we all desire to be part of a functional body of Christ? God saved us from spiritual death and gave us a mission: to glorify Him through the church. The church serves God, and we serve the church. A vital part of this service is patiently bearing with, enduring, and loving our imperfect brothers and sisters in Christ. This commitment forges a bond that culminates in perfect harmony, like a beautiful orchestra playing Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
How to Bear With One Another
So, how do we practically bear with one another in daily life? Let’s revisit the text.
1. Put On Virtues
Paul instructs us to "put on" virtues like a garment, signifying active application. To fulfill God’s purpose, we must intentionally cultivate these characteristics:
- Compassion: Deep empathy for others' struggles, even when their behavior is frustrating.
- Kindness: Performing good deeds to demonstrate love and care.
- Humility: A realistic self-view, acknowledging our own failings, and valuing others above ourselves.
- Gentleness: Controlling our power and strength, responding with mild words, and seeking not to harm.
- Patience: Enduring annoyance, frustration, and provocation without retaliation.
- Love: A heart that deeply cares for the soul of the person we are interacting with.
These virtues are not innate; they are skills, abilities, and habits requiring constant effort. We continually strive against inner urges to become who God desires us to be, developing these characteristics more fully.
2. Forgive Like Christ
Paul also commands us to forgive one another. When someone wrongs you—whether they ignored you, gossiped about you, or showed unkindness—how willing are you to forgive? Paul's standard is clear: "As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
If you struggle to forgive, gently consider: "Who do you think you are?" We must acknowledge our own failures and need for forgiveness. If anyone had the right to withhold forgiveness, it would be Christ, yet He offers it freely despite knowing our every wicked thought. Forgiveness is essential for bearing with one another and achieving harmony; grudges only create separation.
3. Let Peace Rule
Colossians 3:15 says, "And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."
If we truly believe we are forgiven and cleared of all guilt, doesn't that bring immense peace? Knowing we have an eternal home with God and Christ, regardless of earthly circumstances, should fill us with peace. This peace should then govern all our decisions and desires. When someone wrongs us, the peace of Christ should compel us to create peace with others through forgiveness and love.
4. Maintain Gratitude In Community
Finally, to cultivate the ability to bear with one another, we need to be part of a vibrant community that immerses itself in Christ's word, teaching, admonishing, and singing with thankful hearts. Verses 16 and 17 emphasize this:
Colossians 3:16–17 (ESV): "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
These verses complete the vision of perfect harmony and unity. God’s teachings should permeate our community, leading to a complete transformation and hearts full of thanksgiving.
Conclusion
So, what will you do when a fellow believer acts imperfectly? Bear patiently with them. Endure with longsuffering and love. Those who forgive and demonstrate Christ’s compassion build a bond within the body that will bear fruit. We all need this endurance.