Christ-Like (1 Peter 3:1-12)

I want to start today with a question: Have you ever found yourself in a situation where what you were asked to do seemed completely unreasonable? Maybe it was something at work that seemed beyond your capabilities, or perhaps it was a personal request that felt like too much. We all have moments where the expectations placed on us seem overwhelming and impossible.

Today, we're going to dive into a passage from 1 Peter that might initially seem like one of those unreasonable asks. Peter lays out instructions for how we should conduct ourselves in our marriages and within our church community, and at first glance, these commands can feel daunting, even impractical. Why should a wife submit to her husband? How can a husband be so patient and understanding? Why should we pursue unity and humility in a world that often rewards self-promotion and division? And how can we possibly bless those who hurt us?

But here's the key: these instructions aren't just about doing difficult things—they're about embracing our true identity in Christ. When we understand who we are as God's chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation, these commands take on a whole new meaning. They become not just reasonable but essential expressions of who we are meant to be.

So today, let's explore together what it means to live out this identity in our marriages and our community, and how embracing who we are in Christ transforms the way we approach these seemingly impossible tasks. Let's open our hearts and minds to what God wants to teach us through His Word.

Christ-like Conduct in Marriage (Verses 1-7)

Verses 1-2: Submission and Witness

1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) — 1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Peter begins this passage by addressing wives, calling them to a profound and powerful form of evangelism—one without words. He urges wives to be subject to their own husbands, highlighting that their respectful and pure conduct can win over even those who do not obey the word. In our modern context, the concept of submission can be misunderstood or even resisted, but Peter's instruction is deeply rooted in the transformative power of Christ-like behavior. Submission here is not about inferiority or subjugation; it is about demonstrating a reverent and humble spirit that reflects the character of Christ. Wives are called to live out their faith through their actions, creating a living testimony of God's grace. This silent witness can be more persuasive than any spoken word, showcasing the beauty of a life transformed by Christ.

To apply this, wives should focus on cultivating respectful and pure conduct. This means showing respect and love in their interactions, avoiding nagging or coercive behaviors, and trusting in God's work through their conduct. It's a call to demonstrate Christ's love and patience daily, even in challenging circumstances. This silent witness can soften hearts and open doors for deeper conversations about faith. It requires a deep trust in God's ability to use our everyday actions for His glory.

Illustration: Imagine a wife who consistently shows kindness and respect to her husband, even when he is dismissive of her faith. Over time, her gentle spirit and unwavering love soften his heart, leading him to become curious about the source of her strength and patience. Her conduct speaks volumes, ultimately drawing him to Christ.

Verses 3-4: Inner Beauty Over External Appearance

1 Peter 3:3–4 (ESV) — 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Peter moves from the outward conduct to the inward character, urging wives to prioritize inner beauty over external adornment. In a world obsessed with appearances, this message is counter-cultural. Peter is not condemning outward beauty or adornment, but he is emphasizing that true beauty, in God’s eyes, comes from within. The imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is precious to God. This inner beauty reflects a heart transformed by Christ, a heart that radiates peace, humility, and strength.

Applying this principle involves a shift in focus from the external to the internal. It calls for a commitment to spiritual growth and character development. Wives are encouraged to invest time in prayer, scripture reading, and other spiritual disciplines that cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit. This doesn't mean suppressing one's personality or voice but developing a heart that is at peace with God and others. It's about letting the light of Christ shine through one's character, which in turn enhances all other aspects of life, including outward beauty.

Illustration: Consider a woman who is constantly bombarded by societal pressures to maintain a certain appearance. Instead of succumbing to these pressures, she focuses on cultivating a heart of kindness and humility. Her friends notice the peace and joy that emanate from her, and they begin to see the value of inner beauty over external appearance.

Verses 5-6: Examples of Holy Women

1 Peter 3:5–6 (ESV) — 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Peter provides an example from the past, pointing to the holy women who hoped in God, particularly Sarah, who submitted to Abraham. By doing good and not giving in to fear, these women adorned themselves with the beauty of a godly character. Sarah's example shows us that submission is intertwined with faith and trust in God. She respected and honored Abraham, demonstrating a profound trust in God's promises and provision.

To follow this example, wives today can look to the lives of these holy women as models of faith and submission. Studying their stories in the Bible provides valuable insights into how they navigated their own challenges with grace and trust in God. This calls for an active faith that seeks to do good and overcome fear. Trusting God in the context of marriage involves believing that He is at work in your relationship and that your conduct, inspired by faith, can have a significant impact.

Illustration: Reflect on Sarah's journey, leaving her home and trusting God’s promises despite the uncertainties. Her faith and obedience serve as a powerful example of what it means to trust God fully in marriage.

Verse 7: Husbands’ Responsibilities

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) — 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Peter’s instructions to husbands are equally challenging and profound. He calls husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, showing them honor as the weaker vessel. This term, "weaker vessel," has been misunderstood, but it speaks to the need for husbands to protect and cherish their wives, recognizing their unique vulnerabilities and strengths. Peter emphasizes that wives are co-heirs of the grace of life, highlighting their equal spiritual standing before God.

To live this out, husbands must practice empathy and honor in their daily interactions. This involves listening to their wives, understanding their needs and concerns, and treating them with the utmost respect and love. It means recognizing the value and dignity of their wives and honoring them as partners in God’s grace. This Christ-like conduct in marriage fosters a healthy and supportive environment, strengthening the relationship and reflecting God's design for marriage.

He goes further, stating that failing to fulfill this role will result in God not listening to our prayers. If we refuse to listen and pay attention to our spouse, we lose God’s assistance. Guys, we have to pray to God and rely on him for this to matter to us. We have to see how valuable this relationship with God is.

Illustration: Imagine a husband who makes a conscious effort to understand his wife’s struggles and joys, supporting her dreams and fears. His consistent honoring of her not only strengthens their bond but also reflects Christ’s love to those around them.

Christ-like Conduct in the Community (Verses 8-12)

1 Peter 3:8–12 (ESV) — 8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Peter shifts his focus from the marital relationship to the broader Christian community, calling believers to embody a Christ-like conduct in their interactions with one another. These verses lay out a blueprint for how we, as members of God's family, should treat each other within the church.

Unity of Mind and Sympathy

Peter begins by urging us to have unity of mind and sympathy. Unity of mind means working together towards common goals, putting aside personal differences for the sake of the gospel. It requires a collective commitment to the teachings of Christ and a shared vision for the church's mission. Sympathy involves sharing in one another's joys and sorrows, demonstrating genuine care and concern. This isn't just about agreeing on everything but about fostering a spirit of cooperation and mutual support.

To cultivate unity and sympathy, we must be intentional in our interactions within the church. Encourage open communication and collaborative efforts. When someone shares their struggles or joys, take the time to listen and respond with empathy. Celebrate victories together and offer support in times of need. By doing so, we build a community that is not only unified in purpose but also compassionate and caring.

Brotherly Love and a Tender Heart

Peter continues by emphasizing the importance of brotherly love and a tender heart. Brotherly love is the affectionate love among believers, reflecting the familial bond that unites us in Christ. A tender heart indicates compassion and kindness, a willingness to be moved by the needs of others. These qualities are foundational for creating a Christ-like community that reflects God's love and grace.

Fostering brotherly love involves acts of kindness and support, building strong relationships within the congregation. This could be as simple as offering a helping hand to someone in need or as significant as standing by someone during a difficult time. Developing a tender heart means volunteering for service opportunities and being responsive to the needs around us. It's about being open to the struggles of others and showing genuine care and compassion.

Humble Mind and Responding with Blessing

A humble mind signifies an attitude of lowliness and service, prioritizing others above oneself. Peter instructs us not to repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling but to bless those who wrong us. This teaching is radical and counter-cultural, but it is central to our identity as followers of Christ.

Embrace humility by serving others selflessly and valuing their contributions. When faced with hostility or hurtful actions, choose to respond with kindness and grace. This doesn't mean condoning bad behavior but reflecting Christ's love and forgiveness. One practical way to apply this principle is to pray for those who have wronged us, seeking God's intervention in their lives. Actively look for opportunities to do good to those who have mistreated us, whether through acts of service, kind words, or simply showing respect.

Living Righteously

Peter quotes Psalm 34:12-16 to underscore the importance of righteous living. Keeping one's tongue from evil and lips from deceit involves speaking truthfully and kindly, avoiding gossip, slander, and dishonesty. Turning away from evil and doing good calls for a deliberate choice to pursue righteousness and reject sinful behaviors. Seeking peace and pursuing it requires proactive efforts to foster harmony and resolve conflicts.

Living righteously is a daily commitment that impacts every aspect of our lives. Be mindful of your speech, promoting positive and truthful communication. Avoid hurtful or deceitful words and instead speak with integrity and kindness. Pursue peace by taking active steps to reconcile with others, addressing conflicts directly but lovingly, and striving to maintain harmony in your relationships.

By committing to these practices, we align ourselves with God's favor, knowing that His eyes are on the righteous and His ears are open to their prayers. This assurance of God's attention and blessing motivates us to live in a way that pleases Him.

Illustration: Consider a person who consistently chooses to speak truth and kindness, even in difficult situations. Their commitment to integrity and peace fosters trust and respect among their peers, creating a ripple effect of positive change.

Peter's call for Christ-like conduct extends beyond personal relationships into the broader community. By embodying unity, sympathy, love, tenderness, and humility, we create a church that reflects Christ's heart. Responding to evil with blessing transforms our interactions and witnesses to the power of God's love. Committing to righteous living shapes our character and aligns us with God's will. Together, these practices build a community that honors God and draws others to Him. Let us strive to live out these principles daily, creating a loving and harmonious community that glorifies Christ.

Christ-like Conduct Rooted in Our Identity (1 Peter 2:9-10)

To understand the commands Peter gives us in 1 Peter 3:1-12, we must first revisit our identity as believers, as described earlier in his letter. In 1 Peter 2:9-10, Peter declares:

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

Peter's exhortations in Chapter 3 can seem unreasonable or even impossible when viewed from a purely human perspective. However, when we understand our identity in Christ, these commands become not only reasonable but also essential expressions of who we are.

Chosen Race and Royal Priesthood

We are a chosen race, selected by God not based on our merits but on His mercy and grace. This chosenness sets us apart and calls us to a higher standard of living. As a royal priesthood, we are not just chosen but also anointed to serve and represent God in the world. Our lives are meant to be living sacrifices, demonstrating God's character to those around us.

In marriage, this identity transforms our roles. A wife’s submission is not about inferiority but about reflecting Christ’s humility and service. It’s an act of worship, honoring God by trusting Him to work through her respectful and pure conduct. Similarly, a husband’s understanding and honoring of his wife reflect Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. This is not about human patience alone but about embodying Christ’s love and care.

Holy Nation

As a holy nation, we are called to live distinctively, set apart from the ways of the world. This calling affects our interactions within the church community. Unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind are marks of our holy calling. These virtues are not natural to our fallen state; they are the fruit of our new nature in Christ.

Living out these virtues means embodying the holiness to which we are called. Our unity and compassion are acts of witness, showing the world a different way of living. When we respond to evil with blessing, we demonstrate the transformative power of the gospel. It’s a radical testimony that points others to the love and grace of Christ.

People for His Own Possession

We are God’s treasured possession, bought with the precious blood of Christ. This identity gives us security and purpose. Knowing we belong to God frees us to live in a way that honors Him, even when it seems counter-cultural or challenging.

Blessing those who hurt us becomes an act of trust and obedience. We do this not because it makes sense by worldly standards but because it aligns with our identity as God’s people. Our righteous living, keeping our tongues from evil, and pursuing peace are not just ethical choices; they are expressions of our belonging to God.

Proclaiming His Excellencies

Our ultimate purpose is to proclaim the excellencies of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light. Every command Peter gives us in Chapter 3 is a way of proclaiming God’s excellencies. In marriage, in community, and in response to adversity, our Christ-like conduct testifies to the transforming power of the gospel.

By living out these commands, we show the world the reality of God’s kingdom. We proclaim His mercy, grace, and love through our actions. Our lives become a beacon of light, drawing others out of darkness into the hope and truth of Christ.

Our identity as a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people for God’s own possession transforms the way we live. The commands in 1 Peter 3:1-12 are not just moral guidelines but are deeply rooted in who we are in Christ. They are expressions of our new nature and our calling to proclaim God’s excellencies. As we live out these commands, we fulfill our purpose and bring glory to God, demonstrating the power of the gospel to a watching world. Let us embrace our identity and live out these truths with confidence and joy, knowing that we are His and He is with us.

Conclusion

As we come to the close of our time together this morning, let's reflect on the journey we've taken through 1 Peter 3:1-12. We've explored Peter's seemingly daunting commands: wives submitting to their husbands, husbands honoring their wives, and the entire community embodying unity, compassion, and humility. We've been challenged to bless those who hurt us and to live righteously in all our interactions. These are no small tasks; they are calls to a higher standard of living.

But we’ve also seen that these commands are rooted in our true identity. We are not just ordinary people trying to live up to extraordinary standards. We are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people for God's own possession. This identity transforms the way we see these commands. They are not burdensome rules but expressions of our new nature in Christ.

In our marriages, we reflect Christ's humility and love. Wives, your respectful and pure conduct is a powerful witness. Husbands, your understanding and honor echo Christ's sacrificial love for His church. In our community, we embody the virtues of unity, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. We respond to evil with blessing, not because it's easy, but because it proclaims the excellencies of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Living righteously, keeping our tongues from evil, and seeking peace are not just good behaviors; they are the fruits of our identity as God's people. They draw others to the light of Christ in us.

So as we leave here today, let's embrace who we are in Christ. Let's live out these truths with confidence and joy, knowing that we are His and He is with us. Let our marriages, our community, and our responses to adversity reflect the transformative power of the gospel. Let's be the living testimony of God's grace and mercy, shining His light in a world that so desperately needs it.